TGIF/Weekend edition - January 13-15, 2006

 

Democrats Still Dislike Alito but Can't Stop Him
New York Times, United States - 1-13-06
Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. completed his testimony at his Supreme Court confirmation hearings on Thursday to ...

 

 

Bush Plays Booster-In-Chief in New Orleans
ABC News – 1-12-06

... Bush proclaimed post-hurricane rebuilding as a top priority for 2006, and highlighted the Gulf Opportunity Zone ...

Seattle man charged with threatening Bush
Seattle Post Intelligencer - 1-13-06
A man was in federal custody Friday on charges of sending threatening packages to President Bush, including one last month marked "Brace For Impact ...


 

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"A Million Little Pieces" author, James Frey, has been hired by President Bush to write "Memoirs of a Freedom Spreader."—Grant Gerver


 


 The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


Russian Psychoanalyzes Condoleezza

"Condoleezza Rice released a coarse anti-Russian statement. This is because she is a single woman who has no children. She loses her reason because of her late single status. Nature takes it all.” --


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 Disturbing News


 Katherine Harris’ Hometown Declared the Meanest City in the USA

KATHERINE "LET THEM EAT CHADS" HARRIS

Two homeless groups, in a report released this morning, named Sarasota the "meanest" city in America in regards to its treatment of homeless people.

The National Coalition for the Homeless and the National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty released "A Dream Denied: The Criminalization of Homelessness in U.S. Cities," a report tracking what the groups characterized as "the criminalization of homelessness."


 The only reason Pat Robertson is still talking is heaven doesn't want him and hell won't have him. – Zing!


 Republican Shenanigans


When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer 'present' or 'guilty.'—President Theodore Roosevelt


 


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 700 questions divided by 18 hours of testimony = 1.5 minutes per question

In over 18 hours responding to some 700 questions at his Supreme Court confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. mostly described a methodical and incremental approach to the law rooted in no particular theory


Good News

 


Rush Limbaugh, Babe Magnet, Declares Women Like Sexual Harassment

On his radio program, Rush Limbaugh asked the women in his audience: "How many of you in the secrecy and privacy of your own dreams and hopes would love to be hired as eye candy?"

Later in the broadcast, Limbaugh returned to the subject when he said:

LIMBAUGH: I'm not talking -- I know how many of you want to be sexually harassed -- that's not what I was asking. But, I mean, I -- if, if, if somebody wants to hire you to look good for whoever is the first to walk in the door every day, why not, if that's your asset?


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“What a terrific crowd, boy. You all sound like the oil executives after the doctors released Dick Cheney from the hospital.”—Jay Leno


Biz/Tech News

 


Almost Alito

After listening to Sammy and reading his memos and his job applications I would hope that THAT DAY is now. After all, how much more of a dire threat to the Republic do the Dems need? Alito is a liar - he can't 'remember 'his time in the Concerned Alumni for Princeton, but he can remember where and why he used a f*cking semi-colon on a written opinion? Where's the outrage with that?


 "Have you been watching the Alito Supreme Court nomination hearings? The Democrats are upset, they're crazy, they're already accusing him of giving vague, contradictory answers. And Alito was on that, he shot back, 'Maybe, maybe not.'" --David Letterman


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Bush-Prison-Torture News


We Don’t Torture, We Abuse Detainees

Army spokesman Paul Boyce said more than 500 investigations have been conducted on allegations of detainee abuse and that so far at least 251 military members have been court-martialed or given other forms of punishment


 Iran announced plans to enrich uranium, and vice president Dick Cheney announced plans to enrich himself.—Andy Borowitz


Scarborough Spins and Spins...

MSNBC's Joe Scarborough characterized a factually accurate statement by Howard Dean -- that no congressional Democrats had received campaign contributions from lobbyist Jack Abramoff -- as a "snow job," and falsely claimed that The Washington Post and "other news outlets" had proven Dean's statement wrong. In fact, Dean's statement in an appearance on CNN was entirely accurate, and neither CNN nor the Post has challenged or refuted it.


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Go-F***-Yourself News



In a sign that he plans to continue his policy of domestic eavesdropping, President Bush said today that he had ordered the CIA to start aggressively recruiting mothers-in-law.—Andy Borowitz


NAME THAT TOON entries will be posted tomorrow.  Come On Back!


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Lisa Casey

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Ashford, AL 36312

 


Odd News

 


 

 This new image, released on January 11, 2006 from NASA's Galaxy Evolution Explorer completes a multi-wavelength, neon-colored portrait of the enormous Cartwheel galaxy after a smaller galaxy plunged through it, triggering ripples of a sudden, brief star formation. (Photo by NASA/JPL-Caltech/P. N. Appleton/Spitzer Science Center/ Caltech)

 

Peace.